Self worth and the first art fair

Wow, what an experience this was! Last weekend my ability, preparation and hopes were put on display for all to see.

MY FIRST EVER ART SHOW!! During set up, I noticed that my shitty little Walmart tent was by far the flimsiest of all: too short, weak, and we were dwarfed by much more impressive canvas tents all around me.

People had to stoop and tuck their heads to enter and only the bravest would do so. And it was so crowded with paintings that it was probably hard for anyone to come inside the tent 🤣

Luckily, my 14 year old kid, Kazumi, joined me in this adventure and every time I had a moment of doubt, they came to the rescue with encouragement and positivity. “Mama, It’s fine! Your paintings are fabulous and people will want to see them!” Kaz found a string of Tibetan prayer flags and attached it to the edge of the tent, so our potential customers wouldn’t hit their foreheads.

Suddenly, before the showtime , people started flooding into the area. I put on my best smile, and I stood next to my “Trees on Mars” painting, hoping to get everyone’s attention. I probably asked about 50 people the same question: “Would you have any idea what this painting is?”

Later I learn that this was MISTAKE NUMBER 1.

None of these people wanted someone yapping at them while looking at art. They all need some quiet time to fall in love with my paintings! Yapping at them was interrupting that process.

Nonetheless, on the first day, I sold one original and one print. The next day I sold nothing and by then I had a nervous breakdown. I was still crying on the morning of the third day, as so many emotions flooded my hear. With swollen eyes and quietly sobbing, I opened my crappy tent flaps on my shitty little tent. Kazumi was more optimistic than me. By the end of the day, I sold two more originals and I felt so relieved. I can pay rent! People like my art! I felt worthy.

Alas, it’s a shaky idea to tie my self worth to my art sales.

However we may spin it, we want to be recognized, seen and worthy of our efforts.

All in all, I feel grateful for the opportunity to show and sell my art.

it all worked out for the best, as I got invited to a jewelry show, the famous Sun Valley Arts and Crafts Festival!

are you

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